Over 50? I choose style over frump!

A friend from Southern California recently sent me a piece from the L.A. Times. In it, the writer – who is a successful author of books for teens – declares that the best outfit fit “… to dress for middle-aged success” is to wear an “invisibility cloak,” such as that donned by the charming Harry Potter characters.

Amy Goldman Koss begins: “Bursitis, sciatica, loss of bladder control: These are not the ailments of youth. Nor are the other complaints my girlfriends and I discuss over lunch. Add in the self-loathing generated by our complaining, and you start to see the full pathos of the aging baby boomer.”

Describing herself as a “frumpy middle-aged woman,” she continues to bemoan the state of the body and spirit, the paucity of appropriate clothes for women on the other side of 30 and yearns to “fly under the radar.” She is convinced no one really looks at middle-aged women anyway, or, by extension, has much interest in them. Let me add that Ms. Koss does this all in a lighthearted manner, poking fun of herself first and foremost.

If you are a reader of this modest column, I suspect you can guess how I feel about this L.A. Times offering. Yes, I am concerned and in complete disagreement. I first thought the writer was at least 60, perhaps fighting a weight problem that made it more difficult to shop for clothes. I zipped to her website to discover that she is just middle-aged, attractive, not fat, and appears to be a successful working author with a great family life and an interesting personal story. Thus, I sense a threat in her premature declaration about the process of aging – particularly for women. Ms. Koss cannot possibly grasp the pathos of the aging Baby Boomer because she is barely (if at all) a member of our generation, nor does she appear to be “pathetic.”

I heartily agree with her that a woman of 65 may not want to wear a teeny, ruffled skirt with a hem that tickles the upper thighs, or expose our pierced belly buttons with hip hugging pants. Indeed, at a certain age women often choose eschew short sleeved blouses because our upper arms are not as sculpted as they once were. But, I still enjoy dressing for my occasions and making choices about the Baby Boomer I present to my world.

Lest you think that I am taking this all too seriously, let admit that I am, indeed, on a little mission. I advocate for aging in healthy, positive and productive ways – using the knowledge, technology and opportunities that abound for the Baby Boomer generation. That means fighting stereotypes, refusing to accept condescending endearments such as “dear” and “honey” or “young lady,” and highlighting our elders who exemplify the growth, beauty and wisdom that come with age.

At the same time, I’m not in denial. Perhaps Ms. Koss will one day lean over a reflective surface and see staring back at her a face resembling that of a Shar-Pei. I know I will never make that mistake again! If course there are changes to our physical self as time and gravity act upon our bodies. When we first start to notice this happening it’s natural to react – perhaps behind well intended humor. However, acceptance and appreciation must also come with time spent on this planet – I think she’s maybe not yet done enough time. I am confident that, with her creativity and ability express herself through her art – Ms. Koss will become one of the great success stories I promote.